Over the years I have stopped being friends with a number of
people. Male and female. That is a topic for another day. Today, I want to talk
about the notion expressed in my title. I have heard people say that “it is one
person that holds a friendship”, over and over. I find it really hard to accept
this. And if it is true, why so? There are two persons involved in the
friendship, why would it be one person holding it together? I've had this
saying thrown at me a few times, suggesting that I am the one holding my friendship
with the other person.
Source |
I am not very good
with maintaining contact, keeping in touch and stuff, but I try. I don’t do a
lot of calling, texting, chatting. I am more of a visiting person. So, when the
person lives faraway and/or one of us is very busy, and visiting is almost
impossible, the friendship may suffer. Personally, the absence of calls…. etc,
does not affect my friendship with a person. I think I make up for them when I visit.
However, when I am the only person visiting and calling, it makes me feel like I
am putting in all the effort. Hearing “you are the one holding the friendship”
does not make it better. It just makes me think “maybe the friendship is tired”
and “oh well, maybe it’s time to move on. I hate to feel like this about a
friend that I care about but when a relationship becomes lopsided….*shrug*.
Bottom line is if a relationship is important to a person,
they do their best to keep it, nurture it. I’m not buying the “it is one person
that holds a friendship” thing. I would
really hate to be the person putting in all the effort in a relationship. I may
just get tired and let it go.
So, what say ye? Is it really one person that holds a
friendship together?