Thursday 24 October 2013

Why We Judge and How to Stop

If you have ever judged anyone raise your hand. Well, my hand is up. I know I have. Not lately though. I know better now. I have also been at the receiving end. However, when I found out that it was only God that had the right to judge me, in Romans 14:10, I stopped caring about being judged by others. And I knew that I also did not have the right to judge others.

So while studying one of Joyce Meyer's devotionals, I discovered why it is so easy to judge others and not ourselves. It's that we look at ourselves through rose-coloured glasses and others through a magnifying glass. How else can you explain the fact that we judge others for the sames things we are guilty of. Everyone has a log in his eyes. It takes God's spirit to remove it so he can see clearly. Ever wondered why the Bible also said that in a man's eyes, everything he does is right? Proverbs 21:2.

 Let me pass on Joyce Meyer's advice to you. How about you try to see the best in others and turn the magnifying glass on yourself? That way you won't be guilty of judging others plus, you become a better person. Have a great weekend people :)

Do You Have to be a Victim Before You Act?

When I see headlines like "so and so was raped", I don't like to read. This is because, to say the least these stories break my heart. They tear me apart. This is the little I can do to help. Write about it. Create awareness?

Asides the rage we feel at these atrocities, can we try to do more? Cry out? Louder? Why do rapists/paedophiles go unpunished more often than not? When we are not blaming the victim, we are trying to cover up atrocities.

After saying "Eiyah", what next? What happens to the victim? What happens to the perpetrator?
We don't talk about this thing enough. We don't act enough. And I've just about had enough of that. Do something.... please.

Wednesday 22 May 2013

I Wan Port O!

To port or not to port. MTN has put me in this dilemma. If only MTN was not Mtn. If only they did not give with one hand and collect with the other hand. So right now MTN network in Port-Harcourt is crappy. Their Customer Care Officer confirmed it. They were facing challenges in Port-Harcourt, Uyo, ..........., she said. Am I surprised?

All these years I have born all the issues that come with using MTN as a service provider, praying that one day ' e go better '. I would have changed service providers but I kept thinking ' most of the numbers on my contact are MTN, besides everyone has this MTN number '. I did not want to go through the process of changing my line after all these years. So you can imagine my happiness when I learnt of the Number Portability thingy. I could actually leave MTN for good without changing my number!

So, what service provider am I considering porting to? Glo. I have Etisalat and Airtel lines and I hear Glo is great with Blackberry(which MTN clearly isn't). But, would I be able to port back if I encounter any problems with Glo or if it turns out not to be as great as they say it is? Oh I get it, it can't be that bad that I would want to go back from whence I came, right? :) Oh dear. To port or not to port. Help me decide. Somebody, anybody.

Friday 10 May 2013

'Mama, Mama, Na Boy!'

I'm sure a lot of us remember the MTN Commercial where the title of my post was used. We also know that it was banned....for obvious reasons. It promoted the notion that one gender was better than the other. Thank God today a lot of people know better. However, there is still an alarming number of people who do not. For goodness sake, a girl child is just as precious as a boy child!

Recently, I was speaking with a senior colleague and he said something that struck me as outrageous. His wife is currently expecting and he says he wants a boy, not a girl, even though he already has two boys. Why? I ask. His reply? 'What would I do with a girl?'. I could not believe he said that. In fact, my jaw is still on the floor. Really? He married a girl. A girl became a woman and gave birth to him, no? If someone as educated as he is thinks this way, I wonder what to expect from the 'uneducated ones'. But wisdom was never thought in school, was it?

My Uncle's young wife keeps pushing out children every few years because she wants a boy. Five girls and probably counting.

Men go as far as treating their wives terribly or just marrying another one because the women did not have any male children. Like it's their fault! If you gave her the Y chromosome she would give you a boy!

Gender inequality should stop. Girl children are not second-class citizens. Enough said.

Thursday 18 April 2013

Sticks and Stones

"Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt", the saying goes. While that is true, only to some extent, words have been known to do great damage. Although, I have repeated this saying, I know from experience that words may not break your bones, but they could break you or kill. They are capable of killing dreams.

Growing up I got a lot of comments from people who thought I was too quiet. They also knew I wanted to be a Lawyer. "How will you speak in court", they would ask. Like I had problems with speech. I did not! I just did not talk a lot. I got that all the time. Some would even laugh. They went on about how I would not be able to speak in court. And you know that if you hear something long enough, you start believing it, right? Especially, as a child. But I knew that I could do it. Law and Justice is something I was passionate about, still am. I knew being quiet would not stop me from speaking up for my client when I needed to. Today, I am a Lawyer. I speak in court and I wonder, "what on earth were they talking about?"

As a child, even into my teenage years, I got a lot of snide remarks. "You are too slow", they would say. Even my own Parents joined. Hearing that all the time affected me negatively, a lot. The more they said it, the more clumsy and sluggish I became. I believed them. I was too slow. I was born that way. As I write this, the hurtful memories come rushing back. I struggled a lot with this as a child. However, as I grew older, I told myself I was going to stop being affected so much by what I heard. So when I heard them with one ear, it passed out through the other ear. I no longer let it stick. Soon, I stopped believing that I was sluggish. It was just my gentle nature showing. I accepted my self for who I was. If anyone could not accept me, I did not need them. I think I even started to say back to anyone that said I was slow, " I am not slow ".

People can be so mean but a lot of times they do not know the damage that words can cause. Once, a classmate in secondary school laughed at me for having thin legs. It crushed me. I did not know I had thin legs. She made me see that :). And in my third year in the University, my one time best friend calls me 5 naira yam leg =D. I did not need any other person to tell I had thin legs. Till date, I hardly wear tights. Infact, I just started to. For years I admired girls in tights, but I didn't dare wear them. I had thin legs. Once I read about a girl who had a surgery to make her legs fatter :). Did I consider surgery? :). It's not like I could even afford it! Well, thin legs or not, they're mine and I love them.

You do not poke fun at a person for something they have no control over. You do not call someone names for whatever reason. I know how much words hurt, so I try not to do to others what was done to me. WORDS CAN KILL. If you do not get any other thing, please get that. God bless you. 

Thursday 11 April 2013

Hair Again!

Hey guys! If you read my last post then you know how I was ranting about not knowing any Naturals in Port-Harcourt. I also said that I could not find products for my natural hair. Well, I still have not found any Naturals. However, I have been able to locate some products for my hair. Yay! Yes o. So, on my birthday, which was last friday, I walked into a supermarket, straight to the groceries section and then asked a sales person I saw if they had coconut oil. She pointed up and right in front of me were bottles and bottles of coconut oil. I literally jumped in glee. I was so happy. Finally! I quickly grabbed two bottles.

I also got a bottle of Extra-virgin olive oil, hair conditioner and shampoo, or so I thought. It turns out I grabbed the wrong bottle because the next day I discovered what I thought was shampoo was some kinda leave-in conditioner, which was a good thing because I wanted a leave-in but I didn't know I already had one. And my dear Dudu Osun would come in handy as a shampoo :).

However, there's a catch to all this. It turns out I do not trust the quality of the coconut oil I bought. I have read that one way to know a good one is by the smell. It should smell like coconut. The last one I used smelt delicious ,just like coconut. A friend gave me some of hers. Well, mine was odourless. I also read that Extra virgin coconut oil was the best quality but mine just said 'pure coconut oil'. That mine is odourless could only mean one thing;it's been overly refined. Which makes it of a lesser quality than the extra virgin type. In my excitement, I had grabbed two bottles, now I'm not so pleased about them. I guess I'd be more ......careful to look for things like that next time?

In another news, I got my kinky twists in, myself! Sinceeee, the hair don dey old sef. Visit www.scarletxianne.wordpress.com for picture(s). Lera.....

Wednesday 27 March 2013

Would the Port-Harcourt Naturals Please, Stand Up?

Na wa o! I have been on my natural hair journey for a few years. In 2010, I got geri curls. In 2011, after switching to normal relaxer, I decided I wanted my natural hair back. So, I started to transition. That led me to December 2012, where I cut off the relaxed part of my hair. I just tire for transitioning hair bo :).

Although, natural hair comes with a few challenges, I love my hair. Now, I can't imagine it any other way than natural. Ignorant stylists ask me why. I tell them I love natural hair. They just can not understand it. Right now, I've got yarn braids on. However, after what I faced getting them done, it'll be a while before I visit the salon for anything again! Nigerian stylists are clueless with natural hair. Chai! When I take off my yarn braids, I'd have my kinky twists done, myself! Which brings me to my heading. Are there any Port-Harcourt naturals, other than me at all? It'll be nice to know. We could have a meet-up, talk about ways to help ourselves. Being a natural in PH is not a joke. I've been scouring the streets of PH looking for natural hair products. No way! Coconut oil, mba! Knowing fully well that having a product delivered from Abuja or Lagos will cost more than the product itself, how do get my products?

So please, if you are or know a natural in PH, holla. If you also know where or how I could get natural products from PH or outside, cheaply biko, I'd be happy to hear from you.

In the mean time, I'm enjoying my God-given, naturally beautiful hair :).

Thursday 7 March 2013

Just Saying Hi

Hey guys! Been a while, huh? Sorry about that. Nevertheless, you have been on my mind. Been kinda outta service. So, because I miss you guys so, I'm treating you guys to one of my favourite songs. Enjoy! :)

My next post will be soon, I hope :)

Saturday 9 February 2013

Letter To Ekwensu

I read a letter that Pastor Mildred Okonkwo wrote to her enemy sometime ago on her blog, www.justusgirlsnaija.wordpress.com. However, I'm writing mine to my Arch-enemy, the devil. I just thought there are a few things I should let him know, about this year. So, here goes..

Ekwensu, I know you do not want any good thing happening to me this year, but trust me, you shall be disappointed!

I know you don't give up easily. Or how can I explain the battles I'm faced with, this year alone? But you know what? Bring it on! The Lord teaches my hands to war. Besides, my victory is sure! I win every time. At the end? I'll testify to God's goodness.

You'd love for me walk about with a frown on my face, considering all my family is facing, wouldn't you? Ah..I won't give you that pleasure. I'll continue to smile and laugh. The joy I've got? You did not give it...so, you can't take it away!

Also, contrary to what you think, this is the year that I'd have restored to me, everything you stole from me in the past. I'm getting double for every shame I've faced.

You see, God's going to bless me so much this year, that you'd have to turn your back on me in shame and defeat.

I am warning you, but I know you won't listen so, you will see!

Thursday 7 February 2013

Tlll Death Do Us Part? Err...Not Quite

Divorce proceedings just wear me out. They leave me weary, in the actual sense of the word. How two people who met and decided that they wanted to come together as husband and wife get to a point where they no longer see eye to eye beats me. And I wonder, does it really have to be like this?

Asides the issues that might crop up in marriage, it is my opinion that one of the reasons for the prevalence of divorce in our society today, is getting married for the wrong reasons. When a couple does that, there comes a time when those reasons are no longer enough to sustain the marriage. Resentment could even set in. What constitutes a wrong reason varies. I won't go there today.

I just wish there would not be as many divorces as there are among couples, especially Christians. God help us all. 

Saturday 26 January 2013

You Know Her?

Hey guys, how have you been? Today, I'm going to tell you about my role model. I love this woman. But then, that probably goes without saying. I mean, she IS my role model. If you knew her you would love her too. Everyone who knows her does. She is such an inspiration. I do not really know anyone like her. She is in a league of her own. Oh! I just want to be like her.

I should tell you her name and how to meet her. Yeah, you could actually meet her. Isn't that great? A role model you could actually meet. Her name....drum rolls please.....her name is.....err.....ah, I don't know her name o. But I'd tell you what I call her - The Proverbs 31 Woman. Ehen! Now you get the gist? You know her? You don't? If you don't know her....well, you now know where to find her. Yes. In Proverbs 31, from verse 10 down.

For the lazy...sorry....busy ones here, I have decided to copy and paste her story from the New Living Translation of YouVersion Bible here. Read, be inspired, and emulate, Ladies.

Here......
10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. 13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it. 14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker. 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night. 19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber. 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy. 21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes. 22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders. 24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness. 27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness. 28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her: 29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. 31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Ciao.....

Wednesday 23 January 2013

My Name is...........

Hey guys! Been a while, huh? Trying times for my family, but we're going to pull through. I bless God for the gift of life, family and friends. Yeah, but most of all I bless God for being God in my life and family. The enemy attacked, but the battle is the Lord's and victory is sure.

I was just thinking how God is really the only One you can depend on. The truth is, no matter how caring a friend is, he can not always be there for you. God's been my solace these trying times. I've had to walk around, smile, work, gist like all was well because you know what, all is well!


Let me take some time to talk about the meaning of my name. My birth name is Onyebuchi. It is actually a short version of a longer version. You do not want to be calling your child a whole sentence, hence the shortening. The literal meaning of the name is, 'who is God?'. But no, the name is not asking who God is. Usually, when I tell people the meaning of my name they go, " God is the Almighty......". Then I have to start explaining. My name is asking a question quite alright , but not that one. The answer to the question my name asks is....NOBODY. My name asks, "who is God among men?" or "who is God among his peers?".


God alone is God! All over. Not just among men and his peers. In the heavens and the earth. He alone has the final say in my life, my family, concerning my destiny. So, I'm rest assured in my God. The enemy can attack. The storm can rage. But only the counsel and the will of God will come to pass. He's been there for me. He will not fail me now. He is God!



Enjoy this music video and be blessed.


Friday 18 January 2013

Between Me and Whizkid

So my dear friend had a dream in which she saw me get married to Whizkid. It was all over the news, she said. Why wouldn't it be? It was 'moi' getting married! Hehehe. When she called to tell me about the dream, I laughed and laughed. Whizkid? From where? And seriously? I could do better for myself. He is Whizkid. Underline 'kid'. Okay, I know he's a Celeb and all. Who wouldn't love to marry a Celeb? Don't get me wrong o. Nothing wrong with him, he just aint the man for me.

So let us interprete the dream, shall we? Apparently, wedding bells in the air for me :). Yelz.. And, I'm going to be marrying a Celebrity? :]Y. My wedding's going to be a society wedding? If my mom has anything to do with it, it will be. I'm getting married to a Whiz kid, not the Whizkid? It may very well be :).

Bottom line is ; Whizkid or no Whizkid, I'm getting married. Yay! So, watch this space guys....wedding coming soon.

Wednesday 16 January 2013

Chaste is Boring

Did I actually type that for my heading? Well, that's what I'm hearing. What used to be a virtue is now a taboo, in this day and age where the normal is abnormal and vice-versa.
The girls hardly spare any thought for chastity and the men......the men don't even want to marry virgins.

 So, you are a virgin? You are so old school. Ha! There must be something wrong with you. You are not having sex? No sleep-overs at some guy's place? Are you gay? That's it! Maybe you do girls.

Good Lord! I am so tired of all these kind of talk. Can we please go back to the times when people waited till they were married before they had sex? Can we please go back to the days when chastity was appreciated and not scorned? Can we please go back to the days when Ladies did not dress to bare all?! Ladies! I need some help here. The days when a man would see a woman and sex would be the furthest on his mind?

Ha!
I am tired of men painting women as sex objects and women living up to the status. Even dying in the process. Biko nu, ozugo! Bring back the days when remaining chaste till marriage was not seen as a near impossibility by many. Bring back the days when a young girl would rather be chaste than chased. The days when chaste was not boring!

Thank you.

Thursday 10 January 2013

Is Age Really Just A Number?

There seems to be an endless debate on age difference between couples. Does it really not matter that a 23 year old woman marries a 50 year old man, or vice-versa?

I think it depends on the individuals involved. The motive and reason for the union. If you are a woman who does not have any qualms with marrying a younger man, and one proposes to you, by all means go ahead. If you are a 23 year old woman and you want to marry a 60 year old man, for the right reasons, fine.

Personally, I believe that if God through His Word or His Spirit does not frown at it, there is nothing wrong with it. The Bible even records cases where age difference between couple was quite much. There's the case of Ruth and Boaz. See Ruth 3:10. There was also David in 1 Kings 1:1-4, where a young damsel was brought to minister to him in his old age.  
It is true that there was no clear case of a man marrying an older woman, it does not mean it did not happen. Even if it did not happen in Bible days, it was not and is still not a sin.

So, I comes down to personal preference, motive and reason. Is age just a number? I have said my piece, over to you.

What Do You Want?

What do people really want? Do you know? Does anybody know?
I've noticed that people can hardly be pleased. I remember when I was a bit overweight(I was a size 12, that's overweight for me). My Aunt would say something like 'which kind fat be this?'. My mom thought I was too big. My friends went 'you should watch your weight'. Infact, everyone was talking, dad, uncle, even those that had no business talking to me about my weight.

Then, I started to lose weight, gradually till I started to swim in my old clothes. They began again. My Dad would hold me by the hand, take a good look at me and say 'this girl, are you even eating?' My mom went 'you are too dry'. I reminded them that they thought I was too fat before.

Recently, I was talking with my mom about age difference between couples. I said age was just a number and that it did not matter if the woman was a few years older than the man. She didn't want to hear it o. She disqualified a friend of mine who she actually liked when she found out I was about 3 months older than him. Then she meets another friend who is about 10 years older and thinks he's too old. What does she want?

Really, just what do people want? Well, I've also learnt that I can't please everybody. So, if it makes me happy and my God does not have any problems with it, I'd do it. I can't take everything people say now, can I?

By the way, anyone that has discovered a way to please everyone should tell me.

Ciao.....

Monday 7 January 2013

It's An Awesome Year!

Wow! Finally, I have a chance to say happy new year to all my beautiful readers. Hope you guys are great? Be assured that this new year has a lot of goodies in store for us. Boy! Have I missed you guys? I'm so sorry I have posted nothing in such a long while *covering my face. It was not intentional though. However, I am happy to be back. So, from me to you all....HAPPY NEW YEAR.

For me, this is my year of Restoration. Restoration in double of everything I have lost over the years. It's happening already. It's raining! Right now, I am reminded of TY Bello's Green Land. The land is truly green for me, and for you! If you just believe. It's an awesome year guys. I feel it so strongly I feel like dancing. Why don't you join me as I dance to this beautiful and prophetic song Green Land.

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