Wednesday 31 October 2012

I Won't Stop Sharing

How are you all doing? I'm trying so hard not to worry or be stressed right now. Two of my friends are getting married in the coming weeks. The dates are here and I'm barely ready. So many financial commitments and others. Hmm, it's not my wedding and it's this stressful. I can only imagine what my friends are going through.

So, here I am, praying I am able to travel back home this weekend, else I'll miss one wedding. It's just crazy.  
I can't just up and travel. Have to put my PPA( Place of Primary Assignment) and NYSC into consideration.
Praying everything works together for my good. While I can afford to miss the one holding this weekend, though I do not want to,I must be a part of the one holding next weekend. Yes o, being Chief Brides Maid and all. It's well. I know God'll come through for me like he always does :).

So, about my last post. A friend thinks it's not safe to put that much personal stuff out there. Not quite sure what he meant. Well, my reply was that I can only hope that people do not hold what I've been through against me. I am not afraid to talk about what I've been through. I've never been one to keep mum about my past. My life is a testimony that is not complete without all I've been through. Why would anyone want to judge me because of my struggles. Who has not had one?

Some people like to hide behind a fake smile and act like oh, their life's perfect. If your life is perfect, well...kudos. Mine isn't and I'm neither afraid nor ashamed to say it. You want to judge me for that? Knock yourself out.

This is a personal blog. It's my way of sharing with the world my pains, struggles, successes and victories. By God's grace, I shall do just that, and who knows, it might just impact and bless someone. This is my prayer.

God bless y'all.Thanks again for taking time out of your busy lives and listen to my rants :).

PS: I decided to share this video with you again.

Fireflight's, For those who wait.

Monday 29 October 2012

REFLECTIONS

 So I've been away for a while. I was not facing any kind of 'writer's block'. It's just been a time of soul-searching for me. I had to take a deep look into my heart and at what's going on down there, why it's the way it is. Why I feel the way I do about people, especially the opposite sex;I love men but I do not trust them. That may be one of reasons I've not been in a relationship for the past three years.
I had to search my heart to see why I almost do not believe in love. Like I've said before, Jesus is the reason I believe in love. So, as much as I like men, it's tough to trust them. It's only someone you give the power to hurt you that can hurt you. Love and trust gives that power. Every man I've both loved and trusted has either betrayed or let me down in some way. So, I have my walls up. They've been there for years. It'll take such work for any man to break the walls down. I've trusted God alone.
As I write, my heart sits heavily in my chest. Unpleasant memories flash across my mind's eyes.

 Well, after my soul-searching, I realised I was still hurting from the betrayal and rejection from my past. I asked God to help me let go and I forgave, finally I hope, everyone who has ever hurt me. I pray that God helps me open my heart to Love. It's not going to be automatic. But in no time, I pray my faith that all things work together for my good, will be made sight :).

On a lighter note, I've broken up with my Crush :D. Silently. No words, no fight. I no trip again.
Have a great day y'all. Thanks for listening to me:).

Friday 19 October 2012

Treasures

Good morning friends. I decided to share from my devotion today, so here goes.
A pastor was entertained on one occasion in the home of a wealthy oil man in Texas. After the dinner, the man took him up to the roof of his house and pointed at huge fields of oil derricks, and said,"Pastor, that's all mine. I came to this country 25 years ago penniless, and now I own everything as far as you can see in that direction." Then he turned to the opposite direction and pointed to fields of grain and said again, "it's all mine. I own everything as far as you can see in that direction." Then he turned to the east and pointed to huge herds of cattle and said again, " it's all mine, everything as far as you can see in that direction is mine." One final time, he turned towards the west and pointed to a great virgin forest and said again, " it's all mine. 25 years ago, I was penniless, but I worked hard and saved, and today I own everything as far as you can see this direction, that direction, that direction, and this direction." He paused for the expected praise, but to his astonishment it didn't come. The pastor laid a hand lovingly on his shoulder, pointed upward and said, " my friend, how much do you have in that direction?" The man dropped his head in shame and said, "I never thought of that."
That story says it all. It is much more important to lay up treasures in heaven, my dears. Matthew 6:19-21 says

6:19
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
6:20
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
6:21
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

 The truth is, no matter what you think you have achieved and acquired, you can lose it all in the twinkle of an eye. When you leave this earth, you do not go with material possessions or academic achievements. What matters is where you spend eternity.
You think you are living the dream. You've got it all. The dream job, the dream spouse, beautiful children, flashy cars, mansions, beauty. You think life couldn't be better. Really?
Nobody leaves his house thinking he's going to meet his death. Yet people meet their untimely death daily. Everyone thinks it can't happen to them. But we're not more human than the people it happens to. The fact that we are alive today is enough reason to sing praises to God and give serious thought to where we would spend eternity.

Wise men say you should live your life in a way that you'll be remembered positively, after you're gone. As much sense as that makes, I say that, it does not matter to the person who's dead that he's being remembered on earth.
What matters to him is the place in eternity his life on earth has earned him. Once he's dead, he's done with earth. Whether you eulogise him, visit his grave every year, sing about him or not. It does not concern him. It only matters to you and his family, not him.

What I'm saying is, let's not lay up earthly treasures at the expense of laying up heavenly treasures. Let your life speak good of you in heaven, not just on earth. That is far more important!
I'll leave you guys with this beautiful and thought-provoking video of Casting Crown's American Dream. Remain blessed!

It's much more important to be welcomed
by Jesus when you leave earth

Wednesday 17 October 2012

TRUE CONFESSION!

Hi Guys! It's been a great week for me and I thank God. I hope y'all have been great? I have been thinking about something lately. Something, I think I like to do. That I hope is no sin.
 Flirting. You see, I like to mess around with a few male friends. You know, jokes that are most times laced with truths. But still jokes. Actually, it just recently occurred to me that what I do might be flirting. So, I've looked up 'flirtation'. The Oxford Dictionary says it's ' behaviour that demonstrates a playful sexual attraction to someone'. The definition hits close to home, except for the'sexual' part. That's not always the case for me :). However, It gives me such pleasure to play around with a select few. Yeah, a select few. You see, I have a thing for fine guys. You know, guys that are easy on the eyes. They do not have to look like Boris Kodjoe to appeal to me. They might just be sweet-faced like my crush of the moment :). I know, I know, how carnal of me. Forgive me for being human, please.


Boris Kodjoe
 Of course, It usually ends at just the casual flirtation. I am very careful, so that no one gets the wrong idea. I just like to openly admire God's beautiful creation and play around, just a lil bit.
You guys think I should stop? Please tell.......

Monday 15 October 2012

Unashamedly Christian!

Good morning All! Hope y'all had a great weekend? I would be encouraging us this morning to step out of our comfort zones as Christians. As Christians, we need to leave our comfort zones to make impact. We need to reach out to those who have not been saved. Many a times, I have to remind myself to do this. I could get so comfortable in my own little world that I forget that to whom much is given, much is expected. I can not just sit and watch as a countless number of people walk about, lost. The sad thing is that a lot of them do not know that they are lost. They think they are living the life. It breaks my heart when I see or hear these people. And they are all around us. Your colleagues at work, your loved ones; friends and relatives, the Anonymous people on social networks and blogs. They speak intelligently, with such worldly wisdom. Sadly, the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. They make a mockery of the Christian faith and Pastors. If only they knew that is not the way.

On my facebook timeline, I have this passage as my favourite quote,For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; 'to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.(Romans 1:16). I'll stand by my Faith any day. This is the only way and it's the path I have chosen. I am unashamedly born-again. I am not ashamed to say it! A friend on Facebook was offended because I said I was born-again. As much as I would not throw my faith in anyone's face, I will not apologise for being who I am. If you asked me to describe myself that's probably the first thing I'd say, that I am a Christian.

So, I would advise Christians to speak out and stand out and stand in the gap because, like Brit Nicole sang 'that's how the lost get found'. As always, I'm talking to myself too. 

Enjoy and glean some lessons, and encouragement from these beautiful videos I'm sharing with you. God bless y'all.





Later guys:)


Friday 12 October 2012

What's Age Got to do With it?

Sometime ago a friend of a friend paid me a visit. First, when he called to say he wanted to see me I was surprised. But I agreed to see him. We met at a Restaurant. After we exchanged pleasantries, he got down to the reason he came. He wanted me to overlook his friend's short-comings and give serious thought to his proposal. His friend, my friend had proposed a while before the visit and I was still thinking and praying about it. I thought he was a good friend to be doing that for his friend. Note that his friend was unaware of this visit, and he asked me not to tell him. Well I haven't, I hope :). I'm not sure he reads my blog so....Besides I'm not using any names :)
As commendable as his act was, he said something during the visit that got me riled up. As he spoke to me, he said ' personally I would not marry any girl that is above 25'. Not sure why he said that. What was he implying? Marry my friend while you are still within the range? I mean, what's that? What has age got to do with it? What's with the discrimination against women because of their age? What is the difference between a woman of 25 and a woman of 28 for instance? Or even 30? Why would someone say he would marry one and not the other? I wish I'd asked him, but that would have derailed us from the reason he came.
This week I've been asked my age twice. I am comfortable with telling my age. If my age intimidates you then I probably do not need you around me. Funnily, I'm sure he's not alone in his way of thinking. And it's that mentality that makes women feel the need to falsify their age. Because there are men out there that say they won't marry a woman above 25, some women have multiple 25th birthdays. Reminds me of that Alex O's song where he sang about women celebrating 22 today and 21 the next birthday or something like that. Can't remember it so well. At least I try na. How many of you have even heard of Alex O? :D
Well, I'm just saying, enough with the age discrimination already. Enough with the pressure on women to marry before a certain age! Women now rush in and then out of marriages because they do not want to cross the age benchmark set by short-sighted people. The ones above would go to any length to get a proposal. Divorce rate is getting high in Nigeria. And this is one of the reasons.
The romantic that I am, I wanted to be married by 21. But I'm way past 21 and not married. As much as I want to be married, I would not marry just any man that proposes because of my age or because everyone is getting married. It is very good to marry, so long as it is for the right reasons.

I will bring my rantings to close by saying, Ladies, don't let anyone intimidate you into marrying the wrong person because of your age or any reason. It'll be you in the marriage, not them. Keep your head high, be wise, improve yourself . A great guy would not be as superficial as to reject you because you are older than 25!

Sunday 7 October 2012

I WANT TO SEE AN END TO JUNGLE JUSTICE!

I'm tempted to skip the pleasantries,considering I'm not in the best of moods right now, but you're all important to me, so I'll ask- how have y'all been? Well, no matter what's going on around you, you better thank God that your life has not been forcefully taken from you. That's what happened to 4 young adults a few days ago. I do not know exactly what happened. I've been reading different versions of the story online. One version says the boys were robbers who were caught. Another says it's a set-up. And yet another says they were cultists but what led to their being caught was a misunderstanding. Whatever the true story is, what bothers me is the fact that some 'human beings' took laws into their hands and proceeded to mete out jungle justice to the these four. I use the term 'human beings' loosely because I do not know why any person would bludgeon and beat another to death. As for those who stood and watched and even made videos, I have no words for them. I even hear one of them was burnt. How dare anyone take life that he can not give? May God have mercy on our land!
I am totally against jungle justice. No matter the offence committed. Even if it's just stripping them naked and parading them on the streets. It does no good.
I pray that justice is served in this matter. The authorities should not rest until the murderers of those four boys are punished. And I pray that God would console the bereaved. No human being can console them. Also, may this incident not repeat itself.
 Laws should be put in place prohibiting jungle justice of any kind, and prescribing appropriate punishment. We are humans, not animals. How dare you treat a human being, like you in a way I wouldn't allow a fowl be treated?
May God have mercy on us and cleanse our land, amen.

Thursday 4 October 2012

DON JAZZY AGAIN!

That used to be the line before everyone of Dbanj's songs. While I can't claim to be his fan, I'd like to lift a line from his song,Fall in love. You'll know which line at the end of my post.
So I'd known this guy for about two months when he decides to throw that phrase at me. You know now, the one phrase that's been overflogged? The one that everyone throws around even when they do not know what it means? That 3-word phrase? Did you just say,'I love you'? You got it! And I think,'are you serious? You barely know me and you love? He throws them at me and tells me he wants to marry me and expects me to jump. Like 'I love you' are the magic words to tell someone so they'd say yes to your sloppy, ill-advised proposal? You love me...So? Do you know how many men have told me that they loved me? Some even said the words just as they broke up with me. They go 'if it makes you feel any better, I still love you' lol. Sweetheart, if you want to get my attention, telling me you love me aint gonna do it.
Don't get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing-there, you got the line. I'm just saying, 'I love you' are not magic wors words to make me fall into your arms when I barely know you. These days, I love you , coming from a guy who's trying to ask me outdoes not mean anything to me. Keep it to yourself, I do not want to hear it. Even if I actually like you and proceed to date you, Sweetie, actions are louder than words. Especially these words that have been dragged all over the ground. After all I've seen sef and all the divorce amongst christian couples, it's a miracle I still believe in love. I have Jesus to thank for that.
So Dear Suitors, I'm really sorry but you got your work cut out for you. Na your fellow men cause am.

Wednesday 3 October 2012

Can Guys and Ladies Be Just Friends?

REBLOGGED FROM AFRICAN SWEETHEART
Can Guys & Girls Be .. Just Friends?
 Sooooo many people ask me this questions. Can guys & girls be friends? I'll give you the straight up answer and then I'll back myself up.



No.

You heard it right. ME personally.. I don't believe that guys & girls can really be friends.

Understand that I'm coming from a wife's perspective. But when I was a single woman, I didn't really have a

bunch of guys as my friends. They were more-so acquaintances. They were guys from my church and we

would all go out in a large group with girls & guys and we would hang out then. There wasn't a ton of 1:1

friendships going on. Now, as a wife- I'm cool with my friend's husbands and when we're all amongst each

other--we will converse, but I'm not calling or emailing them on the side.

Let's be clear:
The Bible does not forbid close friendships between men and women. As Christians, however, there are some principles that we would be wise to heed. Married people especially need to be wary of friendships with members of the opposite sex because temptations are more likely to arise when there are marital problems. If a man's best friend is a woman who is not his wife, he is likely to share these problems with her, which can lead to an unhealthy emotional attachment.



Most married men (or women) who have affairs purposely go out to find a romantic interest outside of their marriage. So many people say, "I didn't mean for it to happen; it just happened." These things "just happen" when we put ourselves in situations that are difficult to control. When a man has a wife who is not necessarily very attentive to his needs, he could easily feel that he has fallen in love with another woman who does give him this attention he craves. And LADIES, don't even think "this won't happen to you"--As a wife, you're GOING to get tested and that "guy friend that is always there for you"--is going to fill a void in your heart if your husband who you see all the time is driving you nuts. In a vulnerable state--you WILL cross boundaries. So there is NO option for me. It's Jesus & my husband. WHY create extra wars in your mind & think that you have a back up plan when your mad at your spouse? (This goes for those of you in relationships too)
Even a marriage that is built on a foundation of faith in Christ and has relatively few problems is not immune to extra-marital temptations. This is why the Bible does not tell us to stick around and try to fight temptation, but to flee from it like we do from all "youthful lusts" (2 Timothy 2:22). Trying to fight temptation seems to become especially difficult when it comes to matters of the heart or the lusts of the flesh. First Corinthians 6:18 tells us that we need to run away from sexual sin, because it is much easier to run away from temptation than to stay and fight it.


Married men and women should carefully avoid putting themselves in compromising situations when it comes to the opposite sex. If they are seen together in public, it will give the wrong impression. If they are alone on the phone or in person, they will subject themselves to the temptation of an emotional or physical affair. The Bible tells us that everything we do should be for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31), so the wise thing would be to stick to visiting as couples or "double dating" with other married couples, as opposed to risking the complications associated with close friendships with the opposite sex

So if you're single and thinking--this doesn't apply to me. I'm not married. This is how it applies to
you.



Guys & Girls
1. Their mindset is different- They communicate differently. A guy may be just being nice to a woman for YEARS and she may secretly like him and hope that one day he does ask her out. So if you're being nice.. she may catch feelings. Either way, she's emotionally connected to you.

2. It is natural for a man to be attracted to a woman and vice versa. Although you're friends.. you'll find things about each other that are attractive to one another. There's not enough boundaries to put in place to stop that next level from happening. So, YOU may not like him but how do you know if you're on the same page? He may secretly like you & won't tell you because he knows that your friendship could be ruined. If you go around and ask most men if they would "get with their female friends"--they would say YES, if she let me.
Check out this funny youtube clip that I found----> called "Why Women & Men Can't Be Friends"

3. A friend is supposed to keep you accountable and a friend is caused to keep you sharp a man needs to be sharpened by a man and a woman needs to be sharpened by a woman because they are of like mind. There's NO way that a man can tell me or help me understand why my hormones rage 1x a month and how I can deal with it. Just sayin'. :)

4. What happens when you do get into a relationship? There may be conflict between your "best male or female friend" and your now girlfriend or boyfriend. For example, if you're dating a guy and his female best friend hates you--it puts everyone in an awkward situation. But men, if the woman you're dating is someone you want to marry one day--your "best friend" is going to have to understand that she is going to have to be friends with your girlfriend in order for her to continue her friendship with your YOU. If the person refuses to be friends with your girl--then they have disqualified themselves from your life.




5. What about those secret affections for you? He's just friends.. she's my "homegirl."--and deep down.. she's thinking.. I want to be with you so the friendship is hurting her. So you become his back-up friend. You hang out with him a TON while he's single but as soon as he gets into a relationship--he stops spending time with you and starts spending time with his new girl. Then, you feel stupid because you really care.
So yes, maybe when you're 8, you can be friends with your neighbor of the opposite sex. However, we ALL know how those hormones get kicking in after that age & they become prospects.

Some of you may disagree but MOST of you have an end goal to be married one day. If you really want to be married one day--spare yourself all of that drama. If you ask ANY husband or wife--they will tell you that they aren't comfortable with their husband or wife having a best friend of the opposite sex. I don't are how you flip it.. there's still that nagging uncomfortable feeling. It's not jealousy, it's a holy righteous jealousy that is rightfully so. A marriage is powerful covenant & it's to be protected.




Go out in groups with guys  and girls & be kind to them. My husband & I went out in groups while we dated. You can best see a person's true colors in groups because they aren't putting on a private show to impress you. OUT of those groups--yes--1:1 dating can happen FROM a friendship. But you must court with a purpose.If you need advice from a male perspective, get on the phone with a husband/wife couple that are Christians and that are committed to helping you. Men, find another guy that can pour into you & help you out. If you don't have any.. ever thought about asking God? He's your PROVIDER. He has your back!

Also, my husband is my best friend. NOW. We courted with the intention to MARRY. We knew that we were going to head down that road so we were "friends" with a purpose. Any guy friend I used to be friends with .. is now friends with my husband. It just is.. what it is.

God loves you like crazy!!!

Love,
Heather

Tuesday 2 October 2012

And I have to Let Him Go

Hi everyone. How are you doing? Hope you had a great Independence day celebration? I'm going to finish my story today. Hope you've been following?

As you guys know, I was so shocked at what I heard my date ask that I did not hear the reply to the question.The Waiter had already left our table by the time I could pull myself together. So I tell myself, 'what if I did not hear right?' Well, I decide to ask him what he had wanted to know from the Waiter, while 'kabashing' in my mind. 'What did you ask the Waiter?' O Lord, do not let my hopes be dashed to the ground, I prayed. I'd rather I did not hear correctly than find out the guy was not the 'one', after all. Come to think of it, I couldn't remember the last time I cleaned my ears. That had to be it! And he says, ' O, I was just wondering if they sold beer here. Turns out they don't. Oh no! It is finished! But maybe not. Let me ask why first. 'But why do you care if they sell beer or not?'
He gave me a funny look. ' I would have loved to have a bottle. My food goes down better with a bottle of beer '. And down went the last bit of hope I was holding on to.
It just couldn't work. I had ignored all those other little signs, the nudging I was getting from my spirit when we spoke. I was not going to ignore this one. Mba! I do not care for the argument that Christians could take alcohol, beer or other. A man who takes beer? Just doesn't cut it for me. A man who takes beer? He could not be a Christian. You have to understand ofcourse that I do not mean christianity as in religion but as a way of life. That you ticked the Christianity box on that form does not make you a Christian. That you go to church twice every week does not make you a Christian.
So, that's probably the last I'd see of Sochima. He wouldn't be the first of his kind that I'd be giving up. But I have do it. Not just for my Faith but for my future...and eternity.
Stay blessed Y'all.

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