Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mom

Motherhood is the most beautiful, most stretching, and most sanctifying journey I have ever been on.

Before I became a mom, I had a long list of things I thought I understood.
I had read books. I had seen the posts. I had helped with other people’s kids. I practically helped raise my siblings.
But nothing prepared me for what it would mean to carry a life, raise a child, and sacrifice myself daily in love.

There is a sacredness to motherhood that no one can fully prepare you for.
But if I could sit with the version of me that was expecting her first child, these are the truths I would whisper:

1. You Will Never Be Fully Prepared

You can buy all the gadgets.
You can decorate the nursery.
You can make your plans and routines.
But children have a way of rewriting every script.

And that is okay. Because what your child needs most is not your perfection.
They need your presence. Your love. Your availability.

You will make mistakes. You will forget things. You will lose your patience.
That does not make you a bad mother.
It makes you human. And grace is available for every single part of you.

Motherhood teaches you that control is an illusion. And in surrender, you find strength.

2. Your Child is Not a Project

When I first became a mother, I approached parenting like an assignment:
Train up the child. Correct the behavior. Shape the future.

All that is important. But what I’ve learned is this:
My child is not a problem to solve.
They are a person to know.
God did not call me to mold my child into my image. He called me to steward the image of God within them.

Discipline is important, but relationship is foundational.
The connection you build with your child becomes the soil in which correction can take root.

Your child is not your competition. They are not your reflection.
They are a soul with a calling that will unfold uniquely. Sometimes messily, under your care.

3. It’s Okay to Need Help

One of the biggest lies mothers believe is that asking for help is weakness.
It’s not.

Motherhood was never meant to be a solo mission.
Even Mary, the mother of Jesus, had help from Joseph, from Elizabeth, from the community God surrounded her with.

There will be days when the house is a mess.
When you’ve cried in the bathroom.
When you’ve fed the kids cereal for dinner again.
Those days don’t mean you’re failing.
They mean you’re showing up. And sometimes, showing up looks like asking someone to come over. Or ordering food instead of cooking. Or taking a nap instead of folding laundry.

Community is a gift. Use it.

4. You Will Rediscover Yourself

When I became a mother, parts of me felt like they disappeared.
The woman I used to be; confident, creative, full of vision, seemed to dissolve into the daily tasks of diapers and dishes.

But slowly, something beautiful happened.
I found pieces of myself I never knew existed.

I became stronger.
I learned to advocate.
I loved deeper.
I discovered that my voice had more authority, not less, because of motherhood.

You are not lost, mama.
You are being transformed.
You are being rebuilt from the inside out. And what God is doing in you through this season will serve not just your child, but your calling.

A Prayer for Moms in the Thick of It

Lord,
For the mom who feels overwhelmed, give her rest.
For the mom who feels invisible, remind her that You see.
For the mom who feels like she’s not doing enough, whisper grace over her efforts.
And for the mom who feels stretched, strengthen her with joy.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

Motherhood will change you. That is part of its sacred beauty.

It breaks you open so that love can be poured out.
It empties you so that God can fill you.
It humbles you so that your children can rise.

And on the hard days, when the tears fall and the house is loud and your patience runs thin, remember this: You are doing holy work.

Even when it’s messy. Especially when it’s messy.

You are not just raising a child.
You are raising a future. And you’re doing it with God beside you.

Harvesting Taro/Cocoyam from a grow bag

I planted a tiny taro or cocoyam(as we call it in Nigeria) tuber sometime in March this year. It was staring to grow roots and leaves, so even though I'd never planted it before and have only eaten it a few times, I decided to bury in some soil that I put in a sack bag.

Over the next few months, I watched it's leaves grow bigger and bigger. I knew nothing about growing Taro and only watered it occasionally. I did ask a neighbor how long it takes to mature and she said about 6 months. She also said you would know it was ready when the leaves start to die. 

Cocoyam before harvest

Dead leaf

So, when I noticed last week that the leaves were starting to die, I decide to harvest the tubers. I wasn't sure what I would find but I was hopeful it would do better than my Sweet potatoes did. Well, I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't a bad harvest at all. After all, it was one tiny tuber or corm that I planted.

My harvest

I made a pot of Ofe Onugbu(bitter leaf soup) from the Cocoyams, using them as a thickener. I will definitely be planting Taro/Cocoyam again!

How to Care for Your Natural Hair

So you've had your big chop and have now stepped into the world of fros. You've tried to google how to care for your new fro but you're finding all the information overwhelming. Well, let's start with the basics.

MOISTURE

Natural hair loves moisture. Dryness is the enemy. Grab a moisturizer. If you can't go to the stores just yet, mix 8-parts water with 2-parts light oil, like sunflower oil in a spray bottle. Remember to shake up whenever you want to use it. However, to moisurise your hair properly, you'd need to follow a two or three-step process. It could be LOC - Liquid, Oil, Cream , LCO - Liquid, Cream, Oil or LC and LO, whichever you find out works best for your hair.

DETANGLING AND MANIPULATION

Detangling should be done after applying products with adequate slip, so the hair doesn't break. Combing should be done from the ends to the root, always gently, as any form of manipulation should be done gently. Do not detangle or comb dry.

STYLING

It is advisable to do low manipulation hairstyles. Tight hairstyles put a lot of tension on hair follicles and can cause you to lose hair especially around the edges. If you can, go to a Natural hair salon or find a Natural hair stylist. You could also learn to style your hair by yourself. There are a lot of tutorial videos on YouTube.

CONFIDENCE

Now wear your beautiful crown with confidence. Natural hair is beautiful, styled or not. You do not have to manipulate your hair into uncomfortable styles for it to be considered beautiful. Embrace the shrinkage and frizz. Do not let anyone put to down for wearing your hair. Most of all, enjoy your hair! 

My Failed Attempt at Planting Sweet Potatoes in Bags

Sweet potatoes are a root crop and one of the easiest crops to grow. A few years ago, my family planted it in our backyard with great success. The harvest was massive. When we moved houses, I thought I could replicate the success even though I only had bags to do so. So, I got a few sack bags, got soil from around my apartment and got to planting my potato slips.

A few weeks later I had these;

And after three months, I thought it was time to harvest but was I in for a shocker?

Ready for harvest?

Apparently, not. Because I was only able to get two tiny tubers😭😭.

So, no more growing potatoes in bags for me. I'll stick to planting them in the ground or large garden beds. 

Have you ever had a gardening fail?

My New-Found Love

The past few years, I've found myself developing a love for gardening or just planting things😀. So, when I found myself living in an apartment without any space or land to plant, I made do with soil in sack bags, just so I could still garden.

When we first moved into this apartment, I was more committed to gardening and caring for my plants but lately they could do with some more TLC.

So, here are a few pictures of what my backyard garden looks like.

Turmeric and Miracle leaf plant growing from the same small container.

Ginger Plant.

Cocoyam or Taro

Malabar Spinach

My Waterleaf Plant(another variety of spinach isn't doing so well😌

Do you love gardening too?

Too Much Privacy?

Hey People! Been a while huh? I hope everyone is doing well? I am fine, thanks for asking 😊. I haven't been here much, lately. This is partly because I'm finding it hard to figure out a balance between sharing and oversharing. Overtime, I've become an even more private person than I was before. Hence, what may not seem like oversharing to others is oversharing to me.

I can't talk about how or why I've become this way...cos that would be oversharing 🤭. I kid, I kid😊. Anyways, I'm just here to say, I'm okay. See you soon?✌️

I finally Scratched the Itch

Hey Guys! I'm hair again! So it just occurred to me that the picture of me in my last post might have come as a shock to some. Yes, I finally cut my hair. Remember when I talked about wanting to do it here? I did it guys💃. Twice sef 😀.

First, I had a pixie cut. See pictures below. 

My sides have started to grow on the left. 

I went from left to right 😊

                   My sides grew in. 

    So I had to cut the crown/center-front. 

 

My hair has grown even more. I've also done something with the hair. Think major alteration 😀. That will be another post on its own, so stay tuned😁.