What's Age Got to do With it?

Sometime ago a friend of a friend paid me a visit. First, when he called to say he wanted to see me I was surprised. But I agreed to see him. We met at a Restaurant. After we exchanged pleasantries, he got down to the reason he came. He wanted me to overlook his friend's short-comings and give serious thought to his proposal. His friend, my friend had proposed a while before the visit and I was still thinking and praying about it. I thought he was a good friend to be doing that for his friend. Note that his friend was unaware of this visit, and he asked me not to tell him. Well I haven't, I hope :). I'm not sure he reads my blog so....Besides I'm not using any names :)
As commendable as his act was, he said something during the visit that got me riled up. As he spoke to me, he said ' personally I would not marry any girl that is above 25'. Not sure why he said that. What was he implying? Marry my friend while you are still within the range? I mean, what's that? What has age got to do with it? What's with the discrimination against women because of their age? What is the difference between a woman of 25 and a woman of 28 for instance? Or even 30? Why would someone say he would marry one and not the other? I wish I'd asked him, but that would have derailed us from the reason he came.

This week I've been asked my age twice. I am comfortable with telling my age. If my age intimidates you then I probably do not need you around me. Funnily, I'm sure he's not alone in his way of thinking. And it's that mentality that makes women feel the need to falsify their age. Because there are men out there that say they won't marry a woman above 25, some women have multiple 25th birthdays. Reminds me of that Alex O's song where he sang about women celebrating 22 today and 21 the next birthday or something like that. Can't remember it so well. At least I try na. How many of you have even heard of Alex O? :D

Well, I'm just saying, enough with the age discrimination already. Enough with the pressure on women to marry before a certain age! Women now rush in and then out of marriages because they do not want to cross the age benchmark set by short-sighted people. The ones above would go to any length to get a proposal. Divorce rate is getting high in Nigeria. And this is one of the reasons.
The romantic that I am, I wanted to be married by 21. But I'm way past 21 and not married. As much as I want to be married, I would not marry just any man that proposes because of my age or because everyone is getting married. It is very good to marry, so long as it is for the right reasons.

I will bring my rantings to close by saying, Ladies, don't let anyone intimidate you into marrying the wrong person because of your age or any reason. It'll be you in the marriage, not them. Keep your head high, be wise, improve yourself . A great guy would not be as superficial as to reject you because you are older than 25!

I AM NOT MY HAIR?

Natural......the first time

Yeah, I’m going natural……….with my hair. I started to get tired of relaxed hair in 2010. Oh, my relaxed hair was fine. I trimmed it often, cut it even. In fact, the scissors was my friend. But, looking at it just didn’t bring me satisfaction. I would take a look at my hair while it’s being done in the salon and say ‘I want to cut my hair’. My hair stylist would look at me with surprise. ‘Don’t cut it o’, she would say. She would tell me my hair was long, full and the colour was okay. Why did I want to cut it? I was tired of it, that’s why. My inner self no longer agreed with the hair. You know, I’d see people with great relaxed hair and think to myself how good it looked on the person but not want it for myself. Then, I would see another person with natural, unrelaxed hair and almost swoon. I would try so hard not to stare. I would wish I had hair like that. So, I started the journey to acquiring hair like that. I put away relaxer. For almost a year I did not put relaxer in my hair. I gr

If I had to choose a trade mark hair do,it would be this!

ew out my natural hair while fixing and braiding, then I cut off the relaxed part. Oh my happiness, when I could finally wear my hair natural, the way it grew out of my scalp. It was not even hard to manage. Moisturiser was the key. I wore my hair in a banded afro and I was proud of it. But, my happiness was short-lived. Law School came calling. I was due for Law School that year and as I’d been told, the first  Law dinner was held  a few weeks after resumption. What would I do with my hair? My friends and mum started to ask me. How was I going to look at the famous dinner with my hair? Even as I considered my options, I knew I did not want to go back to straight hair. My stylist suggested I blew out my hair with Sporting Waves Relaxer. However, after plenty of thought I decided to settle for ‘Jerry Curls’. Yes, you heard me. The first relaxer application did not go well. Few minutes after the relaxer was applied, my head was on fire. I just couldn’t take it. The relaxer had to be washed off after barely five minutes but it managed to straighten my hair some. However, I could not get the Jerry curl that I wanted. Instead, I got the straight hair I did not want!

I would later get it right though. That was in Law School, before the dinner. I totally rocked the Jerry. I got stares wherever I went in School. People wanted to know if it was my hair. Girls were coming to me to find out what I did to my hair. Outside School, people asked me if I was mixed race. Well, Jerry curl was good, while it lasted. I went back to straightening relaxer when I could no longer find my Proline Cold Waves Relaxer. I would have stopped retouching right then, but the third Law Dinner ( Call to Bar Dinner) came calling. Another ‘no weaves or braids’ event.

Finally, I have stopped relaxer applications. This is my seventh month without retouching. This stage is called the Transition Stage and it’s tough but it’s either this or nothing else. I’ve got a long way to go before I become J’odie but, I’ll get there.Well, am I my hair? One thing I know is, it's one of the ways through which I express myself.

Me one week after my last retouching

My most recent hairdo

Before I went natural the first time

 Have a great week!