So I've been away for a while. I was not facing any kind of 'writer's block'. It's just been a time of soul-searching for me. I had to take a deep look into my heart and at what's going on down there, why it's the way it is. Why I feel the way I do about people, especially the opposite sex;I love men but I do not trust them. That may be one of reasons I've not been in a relationship for the past three years.
I had to search my heart to see why I almost do not believe in love. Like I've said before, Jesus is the reason I believe in love. So, as much as I like men, it's tough to trust them. It's only someone you give the power to hurt you that can hurt you. Love and trust gives that power. Every man I've both loved and trusted has either betrayed or let me down in some way. So, I have my walls up. They've been there for years. It'll take such work for any man to break the walls down. I've trusted God alone.
As I write, my heart sits heavily in my chest. Unpleasant memories flash across my mind's eyes.
Well, after my soul-searching, I realised I was still hurting from the betrayal and rejection from my past. I asked God to help me let go and I forgave, finally I hope, everyone who has ever hurt me. I pray that God helps me open my heart to Love. It's not going to be automatic. But in no time, I pray my faith that all things work together for my good, will be made sight :).
On a lighter note, I've broken up with my Crush :D. Silently. No words, no fight. I no trip again.
Have a great day y'all. Thanks for listening to me:).
Monday 29 October 2012
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