So, Only One Person Holds A Friendship Together?

Over the years I have stopped being friends with a number of people. Male and female. That is a topic for another day. Today, I want to talk about the notion expressed in my title. I have heard people say that “it is one person that holds a friendship”, over and over. I find it really hard to accept this. And if it is true, why so? There are two persons involved in the friendship, why would it be one person holding it together? I've had this saying thrown at me a few times, suggesting that I am the one holding my friendship with the other person.

 I am not very good with maintaining contact, keeping in touch and stuff, but I try. I don’t do a lot of calling, texting, chatting. I am more of a visiting person. So, when the person lives faraway and/or one of us is very busy, and visiting is almost impossible, the friendship may suffer. Personally, the absence of calls…. etc, does not affect my friendship with a person. I think I make up for them when I visit. However, when I am the only person visiting and calling, it makes me feel like I am putting in all the effort. Hearing “you are the one holding the friendship” does not make it better. It just makes me think “maybe the friendship is tired” and “oh well, maybe it’s time to move on. I hate to feel like this about a friend that I care about but when a relationship becomes lopsided….*shrug*.

Bottom line is if a relationship is important to a person, they do their best to keep it, nurture it. I’m not buying the “it is one person that holds a friendship” thing.  I would really hate to be the person putting in all the effort in a relationship. I may just get tired and let it go.

So, what say ye? Is it really one person that holds a friendship together?


  1. Hello Scarlet, how are you Bubba?? Okay I sooooo love this post cause it is easy to relate with.. I mean it is sad when friendships become one sided, when one person has to do all the calling, chat initiation and all. In my eyes ehn Bubba, i don't even consider such one sided associations as friendships. I mean friendship is like sex, it takes 2 to tangle and get down to it. You cannot tell me that I should sustain the friendship,... Nah!! In Wajildas voice.. Not gonna happen.. That's just wrong on all levels, as friendships have to be mutual, with both parties interested in making it work. I mean Friendship no be by force nah, so in my eyes, if the other party isn't willing to make it work yeah, i just walk away. Its that simple.

    P.S: We have missed you on the Young and Confused Blog Bubba, trust me, we have. **Wears sad face.

  2. Complements of the season Scarlet, wishing you an awesome whats left of 2014, and a ghen ghen 2015 in advance. Cheers Bubba.


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