What's That....'Thing'?

Nigerians are unique. They have their own way of interpreting certain English words, I've noticed. Especially, the word 'thing'. Several times, I've had people correct me when I used that word. It would seem that the word now means 'genitals'.

So, the other day I gave some documents and my phone to someone to hold for me. I then said to the person 'all my things are in your care o'. The person went, 'no o, your things are with you o....except you want to give them to me'. It took a lot of control for me not to snap at him. Really? So I can not use 'thing' freely again without fearing that someone would give a lewd connotation to it?

In my office, it's the same thing. Just say 'thing' and you'd be sure to have someone stop you mid-sentence.

So, for the benefit of those who do not know what thing means, here goes:

Thing 1
Definition: Whatever exists, or is conceived to exist, as a separate entity, whether animate or inanimate; any separable or distinguishable object of thought.

Thing 2
Definition: An inanimate object, in distinction from a living being; any lifeless material.

Thing 3
Definition: A transaction or occurrence; an event; a deed.


 Thing 4
Definition: A portion or part; something.

Thing 5
Definition: A diminutive or slighted object; any object viewed as merely existing; often used in pity or contempt.

Thing 6
Definition: Whatever may be possessed or owned; a property; distinguished from person.

Thing 7
Definition: In Scandinavian countries, a legislative or judicial assembly.

thing 8
Definition: a separate and self-contained entity

thing 9
Definition: an action; "how could you do such a thing?"

thing 10
Definition: an artifact; "how does this thing work?"

thing 11
Definition: an entity that is not named specifically; "I couldn''t tell what the thing was"

thing 12
Definition: any attribute or quality considered as having its own existence; "the thing I like about her is

thing 13
Definition: a vaguely specified concern; "several matters to attend to"; "it is none of your affair"; "things are going well"

thing 14
Definition: a special abstraction; "a thing of the spirit"; "things of the heart"

thing 15
Definition: a special objective; "the thing is to stay in bounds"

thing 16
Definition: a statement regarded as an object; "to say the same thing in other terms"; "how can you say such a thing?"

thing 17
Definition: an event; "a funny thing happened on the way to the..."

thing 18
Definition: a persistent illogical feeling of desire or aversion; "he has a thing about seafood"; "she has a thing about him"

thing 19
Definition: a special situation; "this thing has got to end"; "it is a remarkable thing"

These definitions are from the Accurate and Reliable Dictionary(ARD), an online dictionary.

I did not see human genitalia in any of the definitions o. Have all those people seen now?